Blood Shards
by Lalalupin
Summary: 5.16 tag: "She tries to hold the tears back, as, once again, Jane lies to her. To say she is hurt is an understatement." Jane/Lisbon.


**Author's Note: so, after that latest episode, I really needed to write to get rid of some of these feels. Not really sure about it, so thanks for taking the time to check it out :) major spoilers for 5.16. **

**And for those of you reading my multi-chapter, bear with me! I should have the new chapter up soon! You guys are all fantastic :)**

**Enjoy! **

**Blood Shards**

"_Come here, Partner,"_

The words Jane told Lisbon several weeks ago, before taking her by the hand and involving her in his Red John scheme, have now been thrown back into her face, and spat on.

"I trust her."

She is jealous, yes, but more shocked by the fact that her consultant has just admitted to the fact that he trusts a serial killer's accomplice. And not just any serial killer. Red John. She holds her gaze, before looking down, unable to contend with his piercing stare. Lisbon licks her lips, recomposes herself, and looks at him once more. "Jane," she says firmly. "_I _am your partner, not her. You need to be honest with me," she begs.

"I know," he replies with a short nod.

They both know what's coming next. "If she contacts you, if you find anything out about her, if you have any insights into the case…" Lisbon's voice trails off.

"I will tell you," he promises.

She doesn't trust his judgement when it comes to Red John. Lisbon knows he will do anything to avenge his family. She nods nonetheless.

Jane looks at her for another split second, before rising from his place in front of her desk, and leaving her office silently. Lisbon stares at his retreating back, wanting to call him into her office again, tell him to be careful, and not do anything stupid. He, on the other hand, would smile sadly, say she is sweet, and disappear for six months. She is sure. He has done it before, what is it stopping him from doing it again? Instead, she doesn't say anything, and is left wondering how the _hell_ Jane could trust Lorelei Martins.

XXX

They have a lead. 1309 Orchid Lane. Lisbon knows as soon as Rigsby tells her the address that Jane will be here.

"Evening," Jane says simply, as she walks in.

She stares him down, and he tells her that he was chasing up a lead. He admits Lorelei was there, and it takes everything in Lisbon's power not to punch him in the nose, for his stupidity, and selfishness. Instead, she mocks him.

"You're putting your trust into the mistress of a serial killer," she says to him with a shrug. "She's playing you,"

He raises an eyebrow, but is obviously annoyed by Lisbon's comment. "Playing me?" he repeats. "How?"

"You're blind," she says. Her tongue almost slips. _"Can you not see me standing here?" _

She saves herself by questioning his judgement again, suggesting the fact that Jane is in a relationship with Lorelei is affecting how he thinks. _She just wants to know if he really does love Lorelei Martins._

"_There is no involvement. I feel nothing for her." _

Lisbon breathes in unsteadily, and the words trail out. "Now you're really lying," she says quietly, disappointed, broken. The look on his face, of what looks like realisation and pity from her actions and words causes Lisbon to drop her gaze, but Jane continues to scrutinize her steadily. She feels him watching her.

She tries to hold the tears back, as, once again, Jane lies to her. To say she is hurt is an understatement. The fact that Jane slept with Lorelei Martins no longer hurts as much as it did six months ago, but it is the lying and deception, the tricks, that have got Teresa Lisbon close to tears in front of her consultant.

Of course, Patrick Jane notices. She isn't sure if he notices the tone in her voice, the tears she is trying so desperately to hold back, the defeated posture her body has now adopted. He exhales. But doesn't say anything.

She would be lying if she says she is not upset that he isn't saying anything. No, it breaks her. She has loved this man for almost a decade, and it seems, even after he had admitted his love to her, it is all a lie. She finds herself wishing, praying, that he'll ask he what is wrong, to which she will reply with all the emotions she has kept inside for the past several years.

_"You're so damn frustrating Jane! You think no-one cares for you, but that's not true. You have the team, you have me, for God's sake! How long are you going to ignore the fact that I love you, you son of a bitch? Because at least, don't deny that you haven't noticed that." _

She can imagine she will then kiss him aggressively, as tears stream down her face and she is finally relieved of the burden that she has carried around for a large portion of her life. The tension they have been skirting around for so long will finally snap, and lines they never admitted to imagine crossing will be crossed.

She still refuses to look into his eyes again.

Her memory flashes back to the footage they watched, the camera that captured Lorelei killing Julia Howard. Most of the time, Lisbon watched Jane. His eyes were glued to the screen, but not on the horrific deeds that had been acted out. He was watching the woman who had killed her. She was worried from the start. Lisbon knows that Jane has unrequited feelings for Lorelei, even though he won't admit it to her directly. They have both been silent for several moments now. Both unsure of what to say.

Her eyes rest on his again. "I am going to make this _very _simple," she says. "I will not be a part of this anymore, and neither will you, if you wanna remain with the team."

Despite the circumstances, he smirks, and Lisbon has to blink rapidly to make sure her tears stay back. "An ultimatum," he states. Jane shoves his hands into his pockets, and dances on the balls of his feet. "Someone's playing a little too much poker," he drawls, teasing her.

Usually, she will welcome his teasing, but this time, she tilts her head slightly, her face saying it all. _"Do not mess with me." _

His shoulders drop. "I confess…" he states slowly. Lisbon doesn't know if she wants to hear what will come next, though. He continues to speak though. She feels her heart shatter more, if it is even possible, as he tells her. He _does _have feelings for Lorelei, though she isn't sure why she is so upset to hear it.

"_I will do anything to get to Red John, but you have known that since the start."_

She wants to reply, say that he is obviously more than happy to take advantage of everything she's given him over the ten years they've known each other, but her phone rings. She answers it, and she has never been so happy to receive a call from Director Bertram.

Jane's face falls as she answers the phone. Now she has an ultimatum of her own. Tell the CBI boss everything that Jane has done, and risk his job, and the fact that he will probably go to prison. Or, she will risk her own job, and lie to protect him. He knows the choice she will make, despite how disappointed, upset and angry she is. His own Saint Teresa. She will save him, he knows.

Teresa leaves soon after, and even though she is undeniably exhausted, drives aimlessly around Sacramento until the absurd hours of the morning. She knows that, try as she might, she won't be able to sleep. Too much is going on, and her brain is racking at her for some answers.

XXX

Eventually, she finds herself back at CBI just shy of 3:00am. Now, too tired to drive home, she opts for sleeping on her couch. If the sleeping fails, she can always do paperwork. Lisbon doesn't bother to take her shoes off, and collapses onto the couch. She turns to bury her face into one of the pillows, and groans, frustrated, into it. If she tries hard enough, she can just catch hints of Jane's scent. Cologne and tea, and other factors that she is yet to identify. Minutes later, though it could have been hours, for all she knew, someone creeps into her office. Lisbon knows instantly who it is.

_Jane. _Speak of the Devil, and he will come, it seems. Wordlessly, he takes his shoes off, and joins her on the couch, lying next to her. Lisbon has basically disappeared into the cushions, so he turns on his side, smiling softly.

"I'm sorry, Teresa," he tells her.

She shakes her head, and focusses on the material on the couch. "No, you're not," she whispers.

He lifts a finger and tilts her chin to face him. "I am, you know. I hate hurting you, so much. But I have to do this. It's too risky for us, when Red John is still alive."

_Us._ She likes the sound of that, though she still hasn't forgiven him fully.

He reaches to pull her closer, into his strong embrace. She buries her head into his neck, as he rests his on her hair. "I am sorry, Teresa," he repeats.

"You're so damn frustrating, you know that?" she asks him.

No jokes. He nods solemnly. "I do. And I apologise for that," he kisses her hair lightly. "Now, go to sleep," he whispers.

Despite her anger, she does just that, falling asleep in his arms. Lorelei, Red John, everything else forgotten.

XXX

Several hours later, she meets with Director Bertram. She lies to protect Jane, just as he knew she would.

"Jane has _theories_," she tells the director, explaining that they had nothing substantial. He muses about what might've happened between Jane and Lorelei when she kidnapped him. Lisbon doesn't answer. Of course she wonders. Every damn day. She turns to the side, before setting eyes on her boss once more.

"_Oh,_" Bertram says. The sound of a sudden realisation, that the director of the CBI has just comprehended that his best agent is in love with her consultant.

She leaves soon after, without the knowledge that Bob Kirkland had witnessed their conversation.

_TWO WEEKS LATER_

Rigsby has recovered from his ordeal when his car was struck by Lorelei's, though he still complains that his nose hurts. They lost the case to homeland security, along with the man who has personal ties to Red John. Thankfully, Lennin is still in a coma after Lorelei shot him in a fit of rage after being told that he had something to do with Miranda's death. Jane is still mad that Lorelei cut their deal off, leaving with the knowledge of who Red John was, and a dying man.

The call came in earlier that day. Lorelei Martins has been found. Lisbon dreads telling Jane, but knows she has to. He is silent going to the crime scene. It is eerie, a warehouse filled with old and unused carny equipment. Red John probably mocking Jane's past once more, everything he had lost.

He walks up to Lorelei Martins' body alone, but stands with her for only a few moments. _"I'm sorry_," he whispers to her.

He passes Lisbon. "She had it coming," he says.

She wonders if he will keep their unspoken promise, once Red John is killed.

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading. Would love to know what you think! **


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